October 20th, 1997 (from the archives)
September 10th, 2021
October 20, 1997. I have no connection to this date apart from the fact that my Dell Latitude Xpi CD MMX laptop refuses to accept any other. Regardless of the time of day when I restart my computer, time itself undergoes a cosmic shift and consistently returns to Monday, October 20, 1997 12:00 am. Why, you may ask, am I typing this missive on such an outdated computer, one which assuredly has no internet access, thereby necessitating the use of a much more current Macbook Air in order to upload this content and access god knows how many other countless websites in my quest for trendiness
? Chalk it up to a combination of factors, including my bizarre luddite ways and my inexplicable fear of WiFi radiation, which forces me to crunch garlic and clutch my breast like a makeshift X-ray shield while typing away on any modern computer.
Coming back to the date, what happened on this date, I wonder, that time and space itself must warp in order to conform to this bizarre paradigm? Assuredly some president must have been assassinated, some genocidal maniac must have slaughtered an entire orphanage, some feckless teenager must have lost his virginity. Something.
I ponder this to an unhealthy degree.
trendiness? Chalk it up to a combination of factors, including my bizarre luddite ways and my inexplicable fear of WiFi radiation, which forces me to crunch garlic and clutch my breast like a makeshift X-ray shield while typing away on any modern computer.
I am terrified of carbs. (from the archives)
I am terrified of carbs. (from the archives)
September 10th, 2021
I am terrified of carbs. Not because I fear gaining weight, but because I fear growing old. Carbs, in my mind, are a literal representation of my own mortality. Ever since I read Perricone's Prescription
so long ago, I began to associate even the most innocuous slice of bread or strand of spaghetti with glycation and aging. Not that that always stopped me from eating the stuff, of course. Mostly this was out of desperation. When you are poor and have nothing better to eat, a can of beans (which in and of itself is quite healthy and filling) will always appear superbly tempting.
Perricone's Prescriptionso long ago, I began to associate even the most innocuous slice of bread or strand of spaghetti with glycation and aging. Not that that always stopped me from eating the stuff, of course. Mostly this was out of desperation. When you are poor and have nothing better to eat, a can of beans (which in and of itself is quite healthy and filling) will always appear superbly tempting.
I love math. (from the archives)
I love math. (from the archives)
September 13th, 2021